Adjusting to Change as a Teenager

I haven’t even moved into college yet, and already, I can feel the change creeping in. My room is starting to feel like it’s half packed, my group chats are full of bittersweet goodbyes, and every conversation ends with “keep in touch.” I’m excited, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared as well. Change, especially at this age, feels massive. It’s not just a new place or a new schedule; instead, it’s a new version of you.

Whether you’re starting a new school year, moving states, or navigating shifting friendships, change can feel overwhelming. But the good news? It doesn’t have to swallow you whole. Over time, I’ve learned that there are real ways to cope and grow through it.

As a new school year approaches, I’m kicking off a series that explores what it really looks like to navigate change and transitions as a teenager. Here's how to get through the chaos, with advice grounded in psychology, real-life insight, and lessons I’ve learned (and am still learning) along the way.

Tip #1: Name What You’re Feeling

When emotions run high, labeling them helps. Dr. Lisa Damour, a psychologist who specializes in adolescent development, emphasizes the power of “naming” emotions to regulate them: “Giving a name to a feeling brings the prefrontal cortex online” (Damour, 2019). This brain region helps us stay calm and make decisions. Whether you write it down or say it out loud, identifying how you feel can take away some of its power.

Tip #2: Focus on What You Can Control

The American Psychological Association (APA) suggests that focusing on controllable actions can reduce stress during unpredictable situations. For example, creating a new routine or organizing your space gives your brain something predictable to rely on (APA, 2020). You might not control the situation, but you can control how you respond to it.

Tip #3: Stay Connected, Even When It’s Awkward

A stable, supportive relationship is one of the most important factors for teen resilience (Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University, 2015). Even if your old routines or friends have changed, make an effort to stay connected. This link can even be to just one friend, sibling, or trusted adult. Strong relationships don’t erase change, but they help you face it.

Tip #4: Let Go of the Pressure to “Bounce Back” Fast

According to Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, a leading pediatrician and resilience expert, being resilient doesn’t mean you're unfazed by hard times. Instead, it means you give yourself space to recover (Ginsburg, 2006). You don’t need to act like everything’s okay right away. It’s okay to feel off and take time to recalibrate.

Tip #5: Try Something New (Even If You're Scared)

The University of Rochester Medical Center highlights that trying new things is a healthy part of identity formation during adolescence. New experiences can help teens build confidence and discover parts of themselves they didn’t know existed (URMC, 2021). The key isn’t perfection—it’s experimentation.

Tip #6: Talk to Yourself Like You Would a Friend

Self-compassion is strongly linked to better coping skills and lower anxiety in teens. Dr. Kristin Neff’s research shows that being kind to yourself in moments of failure or embarrassment leads to greater emotional strength (Neff, 2011). Ask yourself: “Would I say this to a friend?” If not, don’t say it to yourself.

Change can feel messy, disorienting, and honestly kind of brutal. But it can also be a mirror that reflects who you're becoming. The trick isn’t to avoid it, but instead, it’s learning how to ride the wave without losing yourself in the process.

Next up? We’re diving into how to rebuild your routine from scratch, especially when everything around you feels unfamiliar. From adjusting your sleep schedule to finding time for activities that actually make you feel good, I’ll be sharing strategies that help you build a new normal without burning out.

Sources:

American Psychological Association. (2020). Stress in America 2020: A National Mental Health Crisis. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2020/report

Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University. (2015). Supportive Relationships and Active Skill-Building Strengthen the Foundations of Resilience. https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/building-core-capabilities-for-life

Damour, L. (2019). Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. Random House.

Ginsburg, K. R. (2006). A Parent’s Guide to Building Resilience in Children and Teens. American Academy of Pediatrics.

Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow.

University of Rochester Medical Center. (2021). How Teens Develop. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=90&contentid=P01896