Straddling Two Worlds: Growing Up Between Cultures

Growing up in New York City, I was surrounded by diversity, yet most of my close friends were white. While I carried pride in my Asian heritage, I often felt a lingering disconnection from it, as if it belonged to a parallel universe I could never fully inhabit. At school and in social settings, I absorbed the cultural rhythms of the environment around me. At home, however, a very different set of values defined daily life. My mother grew up in a conservative household in traditional China, shaped by customs and expectations that often felt worlds apart from the modern, fluid environment in which I was raised. As a result, our perspectives sometimes collided. What she viewed as discipline, I sometimes saw as rigidity. What I considered independence, she occasionally interpreted as defiance. These differences didn’t stem from a lack of love, but rather from the inevitable tension that arises when two cultures intersect under one roof.

Living between cultures can create a sense of being caught in-between, like never fully belonging to one side or the other. Among friends, there is the pressure to assimilate, and at home, there is the weight of cultural continuity. This push and pull can leave many children of immigrants grappling with questions of identity: Who am I when I am not neatly one thing or the other? Where do I truly belong?

Yet, over time, straddling these two worlds has revealed its hidden strengths. Research shows that bicultural individuals often develop greater adaptability and cognitive flexibility, learning to navigate contrasting environments with ease (Nguyen & Benet-Martínez, 2013). They are also more likely to show empathy and openness toward different perspectives, since they have firsthand experience balancing competing cultural expectations (Mok et al., 2007). Looking back, I can see how these same qualities began to shape me: the resilience to bridge gaps between my mom and me, the ability to empathize with friends whose lives looked nothing like mine, and the perspective to see both tradition and freedom as valuable.

For many young people growing up between cultures, the journey is not about choosing one identity over another but about weaving them together. It is in the blending that authenticity emerges: honoring heritage while embracing the freedoms of the present, finding personal meaning in traditions while shaping new ones. My own story, learning to respect the structure of my mother’s upbringing while claiming space for my independence, remains unfinished, but it has already taught me that “in-between” can transform into a place of strength.

The experience of straddling two worlds is not without its challenges, but it also holds the possibility of transformation. If you’ve ever felt the weight of living between cultures, know that your story matters. Talking openly about these experiences can ease feelings of isolation and help redefine what belonging looks like. At Her Wellness Mindset, we encourage you to reflect on your own experiences, whether through reading our articles, sharing your thoughts in the comments, exploring our website, or engaging with our content in other ways. By telling our stories, we not only heal ourselves but also create a stronger community together.

References:

Mok, A., Morris, M. W., Benet-Martínez, V., & Karakitapoğlu-Aygün, Z. (2007). Embracing American culture: Structures of social identity and social networks among first- and second-generation biculturals. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 38(5), 629–635. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022022107305243

Nguyen, A.-M. D., & Benet-Martínez, V. (2013). Biculturalism and adjustment: A meta-analysis. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 44(1), 122–159. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022022111435097